Kani glances at the mirror in front of her. She smiles at her reflection. She's decked up in her new Onakkodi (new dress taken specially for Onam), golden bangles and her favourite anklets that jingle every time she moves. Kani can’t stop admiring herself. “Kani… your cousins are here. Come here,” her mother’s call interrupts her. Kani walks out of her room and greets her uncle’s family. “Kani, you are a big girl now. Look at you. You were very thin as a child," she blushes a little."Now you look like a tiny elephant,” said her uncle, laughing. Kani felt a lump form in her throat as the laughter echoed at her home in chorus. She controlled her tears and tried to fit a smile. As the onasadhya (the meal served during Onam) was served, Kani barely ate and didn’t even touch her favourite payasam.
The idea of loving one’s own body is something that is more theoretical than practical.
The way every child has felt unsafe in their own body and uncomfortable by the way they look is due to the body images and social construct society holds on to. “Even if kids are having parents who don’t make them feel unsafe, they experience it through other sources like from school, friends and relatives,” says *Faiza Ahmed, a child psychologist. Ideas like these pave the way to anorexia and other issues. “Kids who are thin are often not given the same focus as kids who are overweight. They too are body shamed and are considered weak,” she added.
Adithya, a freelance photographer, says how she used to hate looking into the mirror as she hated the way she appeared in it. She used to be the butt of all jokes because she was ‘fatter’ than her classmates. Her curly hair further added to more jokes as people used to hide stuff inside her thick mane. “I always was considered as a boy because I didn’t look feminine enough, and this has made me firmly believe that I can never be attractive to anyone. But now, I’m happy because I met someone who loved me just the way I am. In fact, it took me a healthy relationship to realise how beautiful I am,” she said.
Unlearning is never an easy process. To unlearn everything that you were told about your body doesn’t happen overnight. The worst aspect of this is that some people never unlearn. They still are fitting into the ‘norm’.
*Preethi, a college student explains how one of her close friends once commented on her dressing style. “She told me that I shouldn’t wear tops with horizontal stripes because it will make me appear ‘broader’ as I am a plus sized woman. What if I don’t care about how I look in certain clothing because I prefer comfort over everything else? But I was skeptical about wearing any horizontal stripes after that for a while. It made me conscious of appearing bulky,” she said. When comments like these come from people who are near and dear, it will sting a bit more than usual.
Another very relevant issue is on how every woman who has PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) or PCOD (Polycystic ovary disorder) are advised by not doctors but everyone else on how losing weight will ease their issue. So many social media influencers do this by preaching on various diet cultures and fat loss techniques to combat the issue. But on a brighter side, it supports people who have the same condition as they get a feeling that they aren’t alone in it.
The process of having a positive approach to body images is a necessity. The realisation that you shouldn’t be the reason why someone would feel insecure and question the way they look. It is a cycle that we are trapped in and to break off the cycle, each one of us needs to act.
Picture Credits: Pinterest
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